limericks are needed in specifications

I came up with these to celebrate Beth Stroshane my compatriot here at ZGF going out on her own.

I believe we should start a string and create more limericks or haiku or free verse or iambic pentameter

You choose.

My limericks

When designing some tile mosaic
if you want a submittal then say it!
A mock-up will show
Where the tiles to go
And the worker will know where to lay it.

When building a building dramatic,
steel framing can be quite erratic.
To keep the stuff straight,
the erector must take,
precautions to plumb most emphatic

While holding a table in situ,
The contractor said I dont get you!
Beth said with a grin,
Reading specs aint a sin,
if the thing were a snake itd bit you

By way of explanation for these last two: Beth lives in Shoreline WA just north of Seattle.
The last limerick references ULs silly decision to name their short version EPD transparency briefs which was a sad name, that after being pointed out to them by Beth .they changed.in a hurry.

There was a young lady from Shoreline
who expected to see a flat floor line
she speced F sub l
and the tests she could tell
were so wrong the floor was in de-cline

EPDs are good thats apparent
Some companies think theyre aberrant
UL showed them the way
Beth cautioned to say
Theyll see ULs briefs are transparent

Maybe we should write the whole spec. in limerick form. Maybe somebody would read it then.

Can you give me an example of iambic pentameter. It’s been a lot of years since I was in school.

http://iambicpentameter.net/

Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?

Five feet of iambs (ba-BUM) every other syllable accented.

is THIS /the FACE / that LAUNCHED / a THOUS-/-sand SHIPS/

Most Shakespeare is iambic pentameter. It is supposedly the natural rythm of the English Langiuage.

Not a limerick, but maybe this could be Section 01 25 00:

If you change the product I specify,
You must obtain permission.
But I’m at lunch and not about
To make such a decision.
I know you only want to change
What I spent hours selecting
Because the dollars that you pocket
Let you gamble I won’t be rejecting.

Jo; Nice!

Like Ferdinand smelling the flowers,
I read ANSI standards for hours.
As deadlines crept forth,
Not much was it worth
In warming the PM’s icy glowers.

David, thank you for starting this thread. I’ve never particularly liked poetry, and certainly never composed any, but you have tweaked my interest.

Looks to me like limericks are harder than iambic pentameter. I might try one later.

Thanks to Ken and George for reminding me what iambic pentameter is.

So, here’s one for Section 01 35 43:

Our building’s designed to be LEED Level Gold,.
The site drainage structures all water shall hold.
Accessible parking’s marked clearly in bold.
Bushes and shrubs are free from leaf mould.
Cooling’s designed not excessively cold,
With filters the best that ever were sold.
Pollution of air from the carpet’s controlled.
Paints, caulks and tiles all emissions withhold.
This project’s a winner for all to behold!

Oops, Mark started it. David was the last posting. Sorry for the mixup

Stopping by Job Site on a Snowy Evening

Whose boots these are I think I know
His rump is on a bar stool though.
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his boots fill up with snow.

My run-down car must think it queer
To stop without a Speedway near,
Between Skoal cans and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

It gives its engine mounts a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of snow and creak of rusty brake.

The mud is lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And rounds to buy before I sleep,
And rounds to buy before I sleep.

My most sincere and abject apologies to Robert Frost.

oh my - how do you guys have time for this???

Lovely - but don’t give up the day job…